High Agency Lets Parents Design Their Own Lives

A Life-Changing Decision

In November 2010, my world flipped upside down. I became a first-time parent and, with that, left a stable job, turning down a lucrative full-time position at SDG&E. My motivation? To raise my family's standard of living and truly push myself as a software engineer, even if that meant stepping outside the conventional path.

Becoming a parent brings a unique kind of vulnerability. There's nothing quite like looking into the trusting eyes of your child and feeling the weight of responsibility, and the uncertainty of how you'll provide. That moment fundamentally changed my appetite for risk. The safety of a "risk-free" 9-to-5 suddenly seemed less appealing than the possibility of real agency over my family's destiny.

I chose to be aggressive. Instead of comfort, I doubled down on opportunity: joining startups, pursuing side projects, and constantly seeking out new skills. There were tough times, missed paychecks, nights spent worrying, moves to new cities. I even left a steady, well-paid role at a San Diego company for less money in Austin, Texas, all for a better quality of life and more autonomy.

It's easy to think of freedom as endless vacation or unstructured time. But for me, freedom is about being in control. It's having the power to decide when, where, and how you work, so you're never at the mercy of someone else's plan for your life.

What High Agency Looks Like

High-agency careers are about earning outside traditional systems, whether through contracting, freelancing, or building something of your own. They require ongoing self-assessment to question if the path is still right for your family. It takes the courage to pivot, leaving comfort for growth, and building resilience to handle lean times and uncertainty not as failure, but as part of the journey.

Ultimately, freedom means having the ability to earn as much, or as little, as you want, so you can build the life you want for yourself and your family.

Takeaways for New Parents (or Anyone Considering a Leap)

Don't wait for someone to hand you your future; take agency, even if it's scary. Prioritize long-term fulfillment over short-term comfort. Remember that tough times aren't a bug, they're a feature of a meaningful, self-directed life. High agency doesn't guarantee ease, but it does guarantee ownership.

For me, real freedom began when I stopped letting life happen to me and started shaping it, risk and all. High-agency careers aren't about escaping responsibility; they're about embracing it on your terms, especially as a parent. The payoff is worth every moment of uncertainty.